Wonderful fights between narcissism and worthlessness

Anger and How It’s Handled (By Others)

on September 1, 2012

I wanted to expand on a thought I had in the previous post about appreciating level-headedness from MSNBC.

Personally, I strive to be level-headed in the sense that I try not to be quick to anger. I try to be open to the points of views of other. I try to listen, then respond while taking into account their words. Calling a MRA a shithead falls into that definition for me, same as calling a KKK member a racist shitheel would. No, I understand you think all women are cunts. I just couldn’t disagree or disrespect you more. Also stop saying cunts you bucket fuck.

In this vein, I appreciated the level of discourse on MSNBC as compared to what I’ve seen of Fox News. But that’s not really about anger. That’s about reality views; nothing realistic about thinking of Obama as un-American, not Christian, socialist, radical leftist, etc. Nice to see a conversation based in facts and what they are, and what’s occuring, what’s going on, with no name-calling, but also low levels of reservation in calling out political views and people’s actions.

But I see a different reality for anger. Anger carries a lot of baggage for everyone, and they bring it to bear, usually defensively. People equate conversations without anger as civil, thus conflating anger with uncivility. And anger as relates to emotion is sordid as hell. You can be seen as not caring unless you’re anrgy about an issue and then called out for getting overly emotional about an issue, the second usually based around whether the detractor agrees with your views or not. When I say I appreciate level-headedness, I do mean it. But that doesn’t mean I want angry people to calm down, or want conversations to stay level above all else (or above much else).

I actually love the anger that can rise, justly, in response to outrageous accusations, or societal oppression, or unfair circumstances. It’s usually associated with youth, or inexperience, but I’m more troubled by the opposite side of that view being seen as positive. Energy’s great, and anger can be the hallmark of that energy. Conversely, people who aren’t angry, who are subdued, emotionless, seem alien to me. Not people who are burnt out or have built up a tolerance, but people who are so proud they can keep a level head and discuss everything rationally and philosophically. I want to have emotions. Strong emotions. Anger’s one of them. I don’t want to lose it.

But a different kind of anger can rise out of hate, prejudice, or confused reaction to someone’s world view being questioned, and it can look a lot like the anger I love. So I appreciate bringing that hateful anger down, and I also want to support the just anger and the people who feel it. By that, I mean I don’t want them to calm down, or shut up, or sit down, or back off, or cool off, or stop, or think things through, or be more accomodating! Or any of a myriad of silencing tactics when anger’s justified.

I hope my thoughts are clear here, but I’m posting this free of worry because, if I’m wrong, I won’t know until I say something shitstupid and get corrected. So, please, if I’m wrong or even just confusing, tell me in comments.

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